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MATCH REPORTS

West Chiltington

Sunday June 9 in West Chiltington 

Strollers lost by 45 runs

West Chiltington 306-4  
(40 o
vers; Broster-Turley 2-51, Travis 1-44)
Strollers 261-8
(40 overs; Travis 101, Oliver 45no, Broster-Turley 21, Mangham 21, Love 13, Pittams 13, Wall 12).

A journey to the South Coast to contest the Marshall Cup is one of the bigger occasions adorning a pocket-sized cardboard Strollers fixture list. The sense of something special brewing only intensified when Glen Oliver won the toss.

A long pause ensued while he scratched his head with dumbstruck wonder and tried to remember what the social convention was in such situations. Eventually remembering his words, Glen cordially invited opposition Skipper Alfie Reeves to select his two lads bravest and truest and dispatch them to face our (mariachi) music.

The music from the Tennis Courts End was rhythmical and groovy. Freddie Broster-Turley’s fears that eight rounds of golf in seven days in Portugal might leave him too stiff and sore to bowl effectively proved unfounded, as he immediately hit his straps.

In his third over, after four consecutive deliveries on a lovely off-stump channel that resulted in defensive pushes or plays and misses, he induced an edge that flew to wicketkeeper George Love who took a sharp catch low to his right. This was a proper cricket dismissal. I have nothing against caught on the cow corner boundary more commonly seen in Strollers fixtures, but this was a delight to witness. It also provided food for thought for Freddie – should he quit his job and play golf and cricket full time? The regime appeared to be agreeing with him.

The music the Salt & Pepper Princess [alias Rob Wall] was playing from the Houses End was slightly out of tune – as though he was blowing on a corroded trombone (which he does have form for). Coming off an all-too-rare golfing victory over Mike Pittams the previous day perhaps His Princess-ship, in contrast to Broster-Turley, was feeling a little too smug from his golfing success to find his best bowling form? Or perhaps, with Puss’s parents Ian and Tania Porter visiting from NZ and on hand to cast a shrewd eye over proceedings from the sideline, he had performance anxiety.

I didn’t offer Ian a penny for his thoughts on the boundary, but if I had to guess the pensive look on his face indicated a train of thought very much along the lines of ‘I’m yet to understand what my eldest daughter and apple of my eye sees in that man, but perhaps it’s his ability with the new ball?’ Anyone would struggle to perform under such pressure!

Wall was replaced by Ben Mangham, and Broster-Turley by Blair Travis (in an off-spinning, not seaming, capacity). Travis quickly picked up the Strollers’ second wicket with the score at 82, via an extremely smart stumping from Love.

Jorgito has been reluctant to keep wicket so far this season, complaining of one or more sore knees suffered as a result of the work he has been putting in on his sizeable new motor (to help him run a half-marathon). No longer will such excuses be accepted, as his keeping was of the highest standard.

Soon after the combined pressure of Mangham and Travis caused a suicidal single attempt, which Freddie BT cut short with a direct hit run-out from short fine leg to send the West Chilts No 4 on his way for a duck. The scoreboard read 89-3 and things were looking bright for the Strollers.

It would be 196 runs before a further breakthrough would be made; a period of time that felt quite long, but in reality wasn’t because the opposition scored them pretty rapidly. Also, our over-rate was exemplary. It’s important to cling to the positives when conceding 306-4 off 40 overs, and a most tidy over-rate it was indeed.

The fielding effort was also remarkably sharp, up until the final ball of the penultimate over. Skipper Oliver induced a false stroke from the latest brave young lad West Chilts had conscripted to face our music, resulting in a skied dolly catch to Broster-Turley at point.

Freddie, who is not having a great catching year so far it would have to be said, contrived to bungle the catch. When his frustrated shy at the stumps resulted in two overthrows, we had reached peak Sunday cricket. One grumpy skipper and one sheepish opening bowler were all that prevented the full house of on-field participants being doubled over in laughter.

Two Brodbecks [that’s Sam and Simon] and one Pittams joined the grumpy brigade when they were controversially overlooked to bowl the final over from the Houses End, with Travis’s very tall off-breaks preferred for the task. It’s hard to say that this was definitely the losing of the game for FSSCC, but I guess we’ll never know for sure.

Ben Van Noort (128*) and Alex Tatchell (74) did the majority of the damage and were a privilege to watch in action. Fourteen sixes were conceded by the Strollers, many into the backyards at the Houses End. Mangham and Richard ‘Axebanger’ Skinner toiled from that end and both bowled better than their figures suggest. Alastair Macaulay was unlucky to have a sharp chance put down, and Pittams missed out on a possible hat-trick due to not getting the final over. And did I mention the over rate? Exemplary!

Fortified by the usual excellent tea offered by West Chilts, Pittams and Travis began the Strollers chase and put on 38 before athletic Australian opening bowler Dan Williams found Pittams’ edge. First slip, standing a good deal further back than we are used to seeing, gobbled the chance like one of the cool and refreshing fruit kebabs served up for tea.

Sam Brodbeck, playing his annual home fixture, was just getting going when he was trapped in front for nine, and Love fed his ever-growing motor with a baker’s dozen before being yorked by yet another young and rapid bowling Australian in J Sullivan.

“Always nice to have one’s castle stormed by a young Australian,” purred George as he walked off, eyes misting over as he thought of his paramore Shayne. Axebanger smote one lusty boundary before being sent packing, which brought Wall to the crease to continue his quest to gain Ian and Tania’s approval. It was about now that Blair brought up his ton, off 88 balls featuring 15 fours and two sixes. 

This was a heck of a ton. Let not the record not be ambiguous on what a magnificent innings this was – one of the best this reporter has seen in Strollers colours (although were they Strollers colours? Blair’s brand-new cricket boots were a lovely clean white, which was nice but only served to accentuate just how beige his batting pads – passed down from father to son of the Travis family since they were originally purchased in 1934 – are. One of the opposition mistook the heavy beige for bright orange, outlandishly, and was overheard speculating that Blair must usually turn out for Sunrisers Hyderabad in the IPL).

The momentum behind Travis’s masterpiece was most likely Steph Oliver’s inspired music choices, which she played as Strollers batsmen journeyed to the middle. In Blair’s case ‘I am Giant’ was the tune in question, and a giant of an innings it was too. When eventually the weight of his ten teammates on his shoulders got too much and he succumbed for 101 the score was 158-5 and our chances looked slim.

Broster-Turley hit a quick 21 and Wall a less quick dozen that looked unlikely to have impressed Ian enough to encourage Wall to open matrimonial negotiations. Mangham went downtown with a big six into the houses, and Oliver narrowly escaped being timed out as the opposition considered appealing during his usual rainman performance of taking five minutes to walk to the crease before counting all the fielders six times prior to facing up.

When eventually he pronounced himself ready to face and the wicketkeeper had been nudged awake he sparked things up nicely with a rapid 45* which, alongside Mariachi Macaulay (1*), got us scoreboard respectability the likes of which the Chiefs are absolutely dreaming if they think they’ll achieve in the Super Rugby semi-final against the Hurricanes next week, Aidan Selby. Absolutely dreeeeeeaaaaaaming!

At the traditional post-match presentation ceremony West Chilts skipper Alfie paid us the backhanded compliment of telling us that they’d only played such a strong team and thrashed us so comprehensively because they have so much respect for both the Strollers and the fixture generally. It sounded a little bit like a political campaign speech – perhaps Alfie is planning to run for the Arundel and South Downs seat in July – but I for one lapped it up delightedly.

The safest recipe for a pleasant journey home from West Chilts is not to start it too soon. I’m delighted to report that I followed my own advice on that one to an absolute T and enjoyed renewing my acquaintance with the edge of the boundary and some local glassware. Big thanks to West Chiltington for having us, I’m looking forward to next year already.

                                 Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: George Love.
                   Match fees: Alastair Macaulay. Match report: Mike Pittams.


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Tuesday 7th
January 2025